If there’s one thing I should be doing more, which is to write a lot more on this blog. There are times when I find myself thinking that by not cranking out more material, I’m wasting my days on this earth. Perhaps that’s not a healthy thing to think about, but it does make me feel bad sometimes. This post is a musing on the unpredictability of the future and how we must all make the most of our time on this earth. However, writing for me is a lone endeavor — no one tells me to write other than myself. Perhaps I should spend more time with other people.
This was inspired by a series of social media posts my feed delivered to me one night that had the common theme of how unpredictable the future is, how fleeting our memories can be, disappointment about the past, and why we should not take anything in our lives for granted. It’s less of a wakeup call and more of a reminder that in our endlessly chaotic world, we have to be grateful for whatever good things you actually have and treasure the good people you do get to spend time with. Even if everything isn’t perfect, there are still silver linings, no matter how seemingly pointless.
It’s not to say that we should ignore problems and gloss over difficulties, but obsessing over them only begets discontent and suffering. Resentment is poisonous, and we should purge it from ourselves whenever possible. That’s what I’m trying to put forth here.
Ichi-go Ichi-e
This is my favorite episode of Parts Unknown, the travel and food show hosted by the late Anthony Bourdain. It was a tour of Japan through the eyes of Masa Takayama, a three-Michelin-star sushi chef. Their philosophical musings throughout the show are made digestible with food and company, turning mere ideas into actual observable phenomena, both visually on screen and through tellings of their collective experience.
Now knowing the ultimate fate of the host, that part where Masa — playing tour guide and guru to Bourdain — talks about the phrase ichi-go ichi-e to summarize how both pleasurable and fleeting the moment they were sharing was has become a lot more poignant.
They will never sit down and eat like that ever again.
Ichi-go ichi-e is one of those phrases that characterizes the Japanese character. In this case, this phrase that means ‘one time, one meeting’ is like the opposite of FOMO — fear of missing out. Instead of being anxious about not being able to attend a gathering or event, it’s more about focusing on making the most of being in one.
Perhaps it’s also like a more positive version of shikata ga nai — ‘it can’t be helped’ or ‘nothing can be done about it’ — a phrase usually uttered in quiet exasperation in acceptance of an unforeseen occurrence like an accident or misfortune. Instead of consolation after a negative outcome, ichi-go ichi-e is gratefulness for being in the company of good people.
The substance behind it is how no two meetings are ever exactly the same. Whether it’s the location, time, weather, or specific circumstances leading to that gathering, those conditions will be different from one meeting to another.
It could be an annual family gathering, a reunion of friends after years since the last one, or just the after-school basketball game you usually have before going home for the day, you can never know if that will ever be the last one. Ichi-go ichi-e reminds us to not take that moment for granted and enjoy it while it lasts, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.
Without being aware of it at the moment, you may be meeting with someone, sipping your the last cup of coffee, and sharing stories with them for the last time. Maybe you’ll meet again next week, but you can’t predict if a last-minute thing or an emergency will keep either of you from arranging another afternoon coffee break together ever again. Of course, that’s not a scenario most people worry about most of the time.
You can never truly know what you have until you lose it.
Chaos Theory and the Folly of Predicting the Future
You may have heard of the question, “Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?” Edward Norton Lorenz, a mathematician and meteorologist, asked that question which would later form the idea of the butterfly effect — how a small change can lead to big changes down the line. This idea was also explored in the 1952 short story A Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury, where a time traveller alters the future by inadvertently stepping on a butterfly in the past.
In the book The Essence of Chaos, specifically in the chapter ‘Our Chaotic Weather’, authors Lorenz and Krzysztof Haman delved into the challenges of weather forecasting and the consequences of chaos in the atmosphere. This was before computers truly took hold of meteorology, so they speculated on a future where computers would generate multiple long-term weather forecasts based on slight differences in the same atmospheric conditions, the need for doing so being due to the sensitivity of the system.
The phenomena of something seemingly insignificant later growing into something huge and potentially catastrophic is something that happens all the time. For instance, a seemingly innocuous joke made by then-president Barack Obama about Donald Trump during the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner may have resulted in the controversial tycoon deciding to run for office in the 2016 US presidential election, which has set off a chain of events that led us to the international insanity we now face in 2025.
Maybe a customer eating a dodgy bowl of bat soup or a researcher made a careless step or turn in a virology laboratory at Wuhan that caused the pandemic which shut the world down over five years ago. On the other hand, while many people were devastated by the socio-economic effects of the COVID-19 pandemic and some even died or were made weaker from the disease, my life actually improved because of it. I don’t say that with glee, but with a morbid curiosity.
You can never know what the future may bring.
I know this from stock trading. Recently, I had to close a position that I could’ve closed earlier for a tidy profit, but I had been asleep when it shot up. When I actually woke up, it already went down below the price I bought it at. I could’ve held onto it for longer, hoping it would go back up, but I don’t know how long that would be. I cut my losses and let it go to invest in a different stock. It’s a feeling I’ve gotten used to for the past three years, and I’ve come to learn that it’s a healthy attitude to have.
Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Sometimes, things don’t work out, so it’s better to fold your cards.
If it were easier to set TP and SL on that platform, I wouldn’t have FOMO messing up my sleep.
Many factors went into that stock position not working out. Maybe it’s the US flip-flopping between war and peace in Iran, bombing them then negotiating a ceasefire with them, then threatening them again, then making peace with them again. Maybe something is going on inside that company. Maybe traders and investors just don’t like that company at the moment and would rather put their money in something else.
Or maybe stock trading really is gambling and I should stop. Otherwise, I’m very anti-gambling.
Meanwhile, I also couldn’t imagine that a year later, things would somehow go back to normal when I was looking after my mother. As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, she got hit by a motorcycle on 8 May 2024, suffering traumatic brain injury. She was in the hospital for nine days and I had to be with her the whole time. Some of those who tried to help tended to hinder our efforts.
As you can see, I may still have bitter feelings about that. However, things got a lot better as she eventually made a full recovery. Over a year later, while it’s not exactly the same, I can say that period of hardship was beneficial because it informed me and everyone else that I could take responsibility and do what is necessary. While I’m still mostly reluctant, I can if I really had to.
Nothing told me that such a thing could happen, but I had been mentally prepared. Perhaps I wasn’t emotionally prepared, but I did have some contingency for such an emergency. While chaos could take over your life at any time, some preparation is way better than none. A big part of not taking things for granted is to prepare for the unforeseen and the inevitable.
You need not be paranoid, but you need to be ready. No one can predict the future, but everyone can be ready to help themselves and each other.
Disappointment is Fleeting, Remembering is Forgetting
Every time you recall a memory, a detail or two can change as you remember it. That’s why eyewitness testimony is the least reliable form of evidence in court. While it’s supposedly unreliable, it’s pretty much the only thing we can truly rely on in our hardest and loneliest times. You can never take money and material possessions to the grave, but the power you hold over other people with your legacy are the memories you leave them with.
Perhaps the most devastating kind of disappointment is when you can no longer remember. You forget how someone from long ago looked like and how their voice sounded. You may also forget what they did, but you can still remember how they made you feel. Perhaps that’s the one indelible memory you can get from someone — whether they made you feel good or bad.
That’s also the one thing you’ll be remembered for, whether they felt fear and jealousy in your presence or they felt love and respect.
I remember my father’s face since we have his pictures in the house, but I don’t remember the sound of his voice. He passed away when I was 4, so I barely have any memories of us together. I do remember him driving me to the hospital when I jumped off the TV table, the shattered glass shaving off the scalp off the back of my head.
The scar is still there as a small bald patch amid the thick black hair I inherited from him.
I remember that one time I begged him to give me a puff of the cigarette he was smoking in his office. I remember that frantic rush to the hospital to see his lifeless body being desperately tended to by doctors. I remember my mother crying in the hallway of the funeral home. I remember seeing my dead father in the casket for the last time while I was hoisted on my brother’s shoulder.
I remember that night when we rushed down from Baguio to Manila, ringing the doorbell of the condominium unit that we now reside in to this day. No one answered the door, so we had to stay at a hotel in Ongpin. I remember lying about being born in Hong Kong or somewhere else outside of this country. I remember having pride in my Chinese identity.
I remember being disillusioned by the culture I was raised in and shedding the many cultural things I was told to believe in. I remember having no father figure and everyone who tried to take his place. I remember deciding that I needed no replacement, rather becoming my own man with my own insight and way of doing things through experience.
The disappointment of being let down by the adults in my life was proven to be fleeting. It took around three decades for me to decide that it wasn’t necessary for me to cling onto either the pride or the anger towards my culture, and I also didn’t need to depend on it. I had to find my own way that was less about dishonesty and shame and more about being secure about myself. I found my own way somehow.
I should stop being angry with everyone who tried to help. They failed, but they still tried.
In a way, I have to change how I remember the people around me made me feel when I was growing up. As a neurodivergent child, I could only internally respond to the adults around me who were either guiding me throughout my upbringing or saddled with the responsibility of looking after me as their job. I was a handful for them, and they responded in different ways.
Childhood trauma shapes us all, but only very few of us gain the power to reshape it in turn.
I swore to myself in recent years that I would live the next 40 years of my life as a happier and more giving individual, and I’m committed to fulfilling that promise. For now, while I prepare myself to take the next step, the best I can do is to write these feelings down.
Never Take Anything for Granted
I’m ending this by reminding whoever could be bothered to read this up to this point to cherish every moment you have with good company. This post was inspired by my usual social media scrolling and the algorithm somehow giving me the following reels you may have just watched in the sections above — except the Bourdain clip, I had to clip that myself.
Even if World War III never happens, know still that every moment you’re living is fleeting.
As said, we can never truly predict the future. We may have a world war or things just fizzle out and we get to continue living our lives in this age of latter-stage capitalism. We may be chest-deep in sea water due to climate change or something comes about that solves all our problems. We may continue to get shut off from being able to improve our lives due to income inequality or a revolution comes about that resets the world.
Who can truly know what comes next? After all, tomorrow is never promised.
The only thing we can really do is to live each moment to the fullest, no matter how terrible or listless it may be.
Got Feedback?
Have something to say? Do you agree or am I off-base? Did I miss a crucial detail or get something completely wrong? Please leave whatever reactions, questions, or suggestions you may have in the comment section below.
You may also like/follow and leave a message on either Facebook or X/Twitter. Please subscribe to both the Avoider.net YouTube channel and my personal YouTube channel, as well as my Twitch channel for more content. I also post my thoughts on Threads and BlueSky.
Thank you for dropping by.
